Being cut is one of the first genuinely hard things many young athletes experience. It is not just missing out on a roster — it can mean losing friends, a routine, and a piece of how they see themselves.
How the adults around them respond in the following week largely determines what they take from it.
What It Actually Costs Them
Adults tend to underestimate this because we know it is not the end of anything. The player does not.
| What is lost | Why it hurts |
|---|---|
| Athletic identity | ‘Baseball player’ may be central to how they see themselves |
| Friendships | Teammates were a daily social group |
| Routine | Practices and weekends suddenly empty |
| Status | Public, and their peers know |
| Confidence | A formal judgement that they were not good enough |
Feelings of humiliation and anger are common and normal. So is a temporary dip in schoolwork and mood. None of it means the child is fragile.
The First 48 Hours
- Let them feel it. Do not rush to reassure, reframe or fix.
- Give them space before expecting conversation.
- Listen without judgment when they are ready. Venting is the point.
- Acknowledge it plainly — ‘that’s genuinely disappointing’ beats a silver lining.
- Do not blame the coach, even if you want to.
- Do not propose a plan yet. That comes later, and from them.
Your job in the first two days is not to solve it. It is to make sure they know the disappointment is allowed.
What sports psychologists consistently advise
Your Reaction Is the Variable
This is the uncomfortable part. A parent visibly more devastated than the child teaches the child that this is a catastrophe.
| Parent response | What the child learns |
|---|---|
| Calm, warm, matter-of-fact | Setbacks are survivable |
| More upset than the child | This is a disaster |
| Blaming the coach | Failure is caused by others |
| Immediately proposing lessons | My worth depends on fixing this fast |
| Withdrawing or going quiet | Disappointing you has consequences |
| Continuing to support the sport | This is a setback, not an ending |
Resources from paediatric and youth health providers such as Seattle Children’s cover how significantly adult response shapes adolescent coping after setbacks in sport.
Getting Useful Feedback
Once the initial disappointment has settled — usually a few days — feedback is genuinely worth seeking. How it is asked for determines how useful it is.
| Ask this | Not this |
|---|---|
| “What should I work on to make it next time?” | “Why was I cut?” |
| “Where do you see me fitting?” | “Why did you pick him over me?” |
| “Is there anything I should do this off-season?” | “Was this decision fair?” |
| Asked by the player | Asked by the parent |
| Two or three days later | In the car park immediately |
The player asking is significantly more effective than the parent asking. Coaches respond well to a young athlete who seeks feedback, and it is the same self-advocacy that matters later in recruiting and at the high school level.
What Comes Next
The goal is to keep them playing. Players cut one year frequently make it the next; the ones who do not are usually the ones who stopped.
- Keep playing somewhere. Rec ball, another program, a different age group — repetitions matter more than the badge.
- Set two or three specific goals from the coach’s feedback, not vague ones.
- Use the off-season properly — our off-season guide covers what actually changes a player.
- Consider another sport this season. It helps athletically and mentally.
- Try again. Attending the next tryout is itself the lesson.
Solo work matters here too, because it is entirely within their control at a moment when little else is — our guide to practising alone covers what that looks like without a team.
What Not to Do Next
The instinct to fix it fast is strong and usually counterproductive.
| Common reaction | Why it backfires |
|---|---|
| Booking lessons the next day | Signals panic; the player has not processed it yet |
| Finding any team that will take them | A poor fit can compound the disappointment |
| Emailing the coach to argue | Closes a door your player may want open next year |
| Promising they will make it next time | Not yours to promise |
| Never mentioning it again | Teaches that failure is shameful |
The second row is worth care. Moving straight to a weaker programme to guarantee a spot can feel like a solution and often is not — our guide to evaluating programmes covers what to check before committing.
Watch for the Harder Signs
Most players are noticeably better within a fortnight. A few are not, and it is worth paying attention.
- Persistent low mood beyond a couple of weeks.
- Withdrawing from friends, not just from baseball.
- A drop in schoolwork that does not recover.
- Refusing to discuss it at all, over an extended period.
- Saying they are finished with sport entirely, and meaning it.
Any of these persisting is worth a conversation with a professional. Being cut is a normal setback; a lasting change in how a young person functions is not.
The Long View
Almost every athlete is cut, benched or passed over at some point. Learning to absorb that at thirteen, with parents who handled it well, is genuinely valuable preparation — for sport and for most things afterwards.
The players our coaches remember are frequently the ones who did not make it the first time and came back the following year visibly better. That is a real pattern, not a consolation.
If your player was cut elsewhere and wants another look, our tryouts are open to anyone, and our tryout guide covers how to prepare properly for the next one.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I say when my child gets cut from a team?
Very little at first. Give them space, then listen without trying to fix it. ‘I’m sorry, that’s genuinely disappointing’ works better than analysis or reassurance. Your job in the first day is to let them feel it.
How do parents react badly when a child is cut?
By being more upset than the child, by blaming the coach, or by immediately proposing a plan. All three shift attention onto the parent’s feelings and teach the child that the setback is catastrophic.
Should we ask the coach why my player was cut?
Yes, but let the player ask, and wait a day or two. The useful question is ‘what should I work on to make it next time?’ rather than ‘why was I cut?’ — coaches answer the first far more usefully.
Is getting cut bad for a young athlete?
It is genuinely painful and can affect identity, friendships and confidence. Handled well it also builds resilience. The determining factor is largely how the adults around them respond.
What should a player do after not making a team?
Take a short break, then set specific goals with a coach’s input, keep playing somewhere, and try again. Many players cut one year make the team the next — the ones who quit are the ones who do not.
Come and Try Again
WAR Baseball tryouts are open to any player in 13U through 17U, whatever happened last season. No obligation attached.